When I was 17 my biggest dream at the time came true.
I received an invitation to play for a professional soccer club in Holland.
The letter said:
“Dear Joren, you are invited to come play for AZ Alkmaar”.
Upon reading these words I felt so proud.
Parents were proud.
Grandparents were proud.
So exciting.
Is this really happening?
I felt into this tremendous life opportunity.
Living my childhood dream.
Securing my financial future.
It felt absolutely amazing.
I could finally do what I loved as a career.
Other than becoming a soccer player at the time I was quite clueless as to how else I would "make it" in society.
So “perfect”
“Sign me up”
“This is going to be great!”
I signed the dotted line.
Playing for the highest (youth) level possible at a professional soccer club was a fact.
On the road to my first professional contract.
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During one of my first pre-season tournaments, I played well.
Many compliments from people watching me play. Even from players from opponent teams being impressed by my performances coming to me to know who I was.
My confidence got a boost and I felt ready for the season.
Then, things took a turn.
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One week before the season, the club signed a new player for my position.
Without any explanation, feedback or word of advice from my coach about my performance.
OK.
I remained optimistic and decided to work harder.
BUT
Despite showing up and putting in the work
I ended up playing 0 minutes the first six matches.
Again, I got zero explanation or feedback.
I remember this feeling of wondering what the hell I signed up for.
What I got myself into.
Doubting myself.
Feeling lost, alone.
Alienated.
Regularly feeling angry, desperate and even humiliated.
This went on for the next year and more.
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It felt traumatizing.
Deeply painful.
As I questioned everything.
Who I was, my future, what matters to me.
The joy I once felt for the game started leaving me.
It felt more like wasting my time.
Mind you, I was used to being the absolute BEST on the pitch.
From an early age (5 years old).
I was used to making a difference for my team.
Coaches believing in me.
Being praised all over.
I thrived on performing again and again.
But here's the thing.
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My confidence mostly came from the outside in.
Being a highly talented soccer player was part of my identity.
I was so vulnerable.
Because when others validated me I would feel on top of the world.
But, when that external validation suddenly wasn't there, my (inner)world came crashing down.
Hard.
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I went into a ride into my own deepest and darkest shadows.
I seemed to not be valued by my coaches nor team players.
I felt I couldn't express or prove myself in matches.
This clashed completely with who I thought I was and took all my power away.
It felt like I was finally flying high above the sky after years of learning how to fly…
And than my wings got clipped mid-air.
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Looking back with compassion towards my 17-old self, I can be honest and say I also lacked the skills to take responsibility for my own needs and speak up for myself (whole masterskill of itself).
Regardless…I "endured" this situation for over 16 months.
I failed hard.
Until I had enough and said NO MORE.
Until my self worth and self respect became stronger than my appetite and dependency for external validation.
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“I am better than this".
"I am more worthy than this”.
“I’ll pave my own way even if I have to give up this dream right now”.
”I’ll bounce back up”.
I made the decision to leave AZ half-season and with that my given chance of a career in outdoor soccer.
This match against Ajax would be one of my last at the club.
I went back to playing indoor soccer at the highest level where I felt more valued.
Where eventually life had other plans for me altogether.
After a debilitating injury I had to leave the world of soccer behind me once and for all.
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Now why am I telling you this story?
Because that decision to leave AZ and then getting injured haunted and crushed me for years.
I blamed myself, I told myself I was weak, that I had given up.
That I had let down everyone around me.
My family.
My previous coaches who believed in me and put so much heart into training me.
Younger generations of kids who I knew looked up to me.
My friends who cheered for me.
Each time I would watch a game I would feel pain or resentment and turn my back away.
And
This experience became one of the most powerful experiences that I could wish for, that still SERVE me today.
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Now here's the thing.
I could have seen myself as a failure after quitting, and live the rest of my life believing this about myself.
I could have stopped completely going for my dreams because of this one perceived failure.
Because that's what pain can do to you.
That's what trauma can cause you to do when you let it.
For years I saw myself as a quitter.
As someone who is not meant to succeed.
As someone who can be great, yet will fail anyway.
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I indeed failed two different university degrees in the years after.
I failed to commit to relationships because of the fear of failing.
I failed to start my own business when I had ideas that excited me.
I failed to live healthy and take care for my body and mind.
I chose "easy" years.
Least responsibility as possible.
I told myself..
"If you don't take on any responsibility, at least you cannot fail or get hurt again".
Until I found how this experience was keeping me back in life.
Until I discovered how this SAME experience actually became the FUEL for my life’s work now.
This story above has become part of the very foundations my current work is built on.
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HOW TO TRANSFORM PAIN INTO POWER
Through learning how to think differently, I changed the game of my whole life, in all area’s.
You can turn things around in a big way.
And painful experiences of your past can actually become a gift that keeps on giving.
✧ I'm in a 7 year committed relationship with my now wife and will soon have our first baby.
✧ I became an entrepreneur making more money than I ever thought I would, being able to provide for my family abundantly.
✧ I've created multiple income streams and a business that allows me to use my time as I like and work from wherever I like.
✧ I feel the healthiest I've ever been.
✧ I have a shared vision for the future with my wife and we live our vision wholeheartedly together right now in the Algarve in Portugal.
✧ I get to live my purpose through doing the work that I love and serve thousands of people.
When you learn this skill.
Not only can you turn things around.You free yourself.
Life opens up to you again in big ways.
You’ll find that the initial pain, magically goes away.
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I will teach this life skill to turn pain into power for FREE in my upcoming online training next Wednesday 3th of july.
Sharing my exact blueprint so that you can unlock your life and take it to next levels right away.
Are you curious to learn more?
You can sign up for my online training by CLICKING THE LINK BELOW 👇
Limited spots.
Next Wednesday 3rd of July
17:00PM (GMT+1) Lisbon time.
Love seeing you on the inside.
From the heart,
Joren de Bruin
PS: You are welcome to share ➤ this message